Fauxmance #4 Shall We Mourn?

The minute the fauxmance was announced back in August, 2012, I knew it was a horrendous idea and it would damage the icons involved.  You guys all know this if you’ve been reading this blog.

In order to make this ‘coupling’ work, you have to write these characters out of character.  You have to change something intrinsic to the characters.  Making them younger is no excuse.  People mature in many ways not just chronologically.   With the experience they have had in their lives so far and with the powers they have, they should have developed some maturity, as well as emotional and psychological stability.

Superman, even in his own books previous to the JL12 announcement, was experiencing all kind of mind whammies, multiple timelines, alternate realities, etc.  We did not know for sure who he was or what he thought of himself.  He had too many battles to fight to have introspection.  Clark Kent was nearly non-existent and Lois Lane got shoved to the curb.  The Kents were dead so there was no way to know what of Clark’s upbringing stuck and what he totally ignored.  In other words, we did not get a good foundation for the character to bounce off of when certain circumstances arose.

Wonder Woman had even less development except in her own book which Brian Azzarello immediately pitched for when he found out what the new 52 main continuity was going to do with her.   What we are seeing in the fauxmance is what the bigwigs at the 2010 editorial retreat thought would be a ‘good idea’ for Wonder Woman’s character.

So this is not Charles Soule’s fault or idea.  You can place the blame for what is happening to Wonder Woman solely on the attendees of that retreat.  I could narrow down the pack for you, because of past history, but it doesn’t matter anymore.  The ‘big idea’ is failing.  Superman books are well below 38,000 units and Wonder Woman’s numbers are even worse.  There could be some backlash from the fauxmance storyline or not having her relate to the new 52 main continuity except in the Superman books.   The latest statistics for December for the fauxmance book were around 51K, a 14% drop since the second issue.  It is no stretch of the imagination to see these numbers continue to fall month after month and probably at a rapid rate.

Superman’s numbers are less than the average number for the WONK issues.  That and Grounded pretty much made DCE decide to reboot the entire universe.  Books were falling well below the 40K mark.  How is DCE going to reboot Superman now?  Do they even want to?

Last time we saw the power twins, they were outside the Fortress of Solitude and Clark was listening to the world begin to talk about their pairing.  Now inexplicably, Soule has them in Diana’s apartment.  Clark is wearing a blue shirt while Diana is putting on her bracelets.   She was fully dressed at the FOS so . . . what is the implication here?  They flew to her apartment to continue the conversation about the world knowing the secret that Clark didn’t want to get out?  Not exactly foreplay atmosphere even if her Christmas present was sexual.  The seriousness of the situation may have stopped that.

So Diana asks him what they are saying.  He says everything and she says, “I know.”  Why did she ask if she knew?  “Don’t listen to them.  Listen to me.”   Wonder Woman understands why he can’t tell people he was raised in Kansas because then Clark Kent wouldn’t exist.  But she asks if being Superman all the time would be a bad thing?   Apparently she doesn’t follow the stats for print orders.  She presses the point with why shouldn’t he have joy in things like HER and his powers.  She knows the truth because she’s seen the way he looks at her when he doesn’t think she’s watching.  Uh, he’s Superman, right?  He has a whole vision scale so . . . whatever.

Clark tries to explain to her why writing is important to him.  It’s difficult, especially to write effectively to capture the hearts and minds of his readers.


This proves Soule gets Clark Kent.  And unfortunately, up until this point in the new 52 we haven’t gotten Clark Kent journalist stating why he does it, even though he’s Superman.  Over two years after Justice League #1 which started it all.

We, and probably Clark, get to watch Wonder Woman zip up her boots.  Uh, yea.  And when she goes to put on the tiara . . .


So Clark wants to take care of business.  He’s an investigative reporter.  Something that exercises his brain and his life.  Probably gives him more satisfaction than just battling whatever all day.

For simplicity, I am going to present the story chronologically.  Yea, I know, unheard of in the new 52.  Clark goes to find out how Cat got the story in the back story also written by Soule.    He goes to Lord Innovation.  That’s Cat Grant’s boyfriend, Aaron Lord.  Did your head snap to one side?   Could he be Maxwell Aaron Lord or Aaron Maxwell Lord?   Or Max’s brother?  Maxwell Lord is the guy who Wonder Woman snapped his neck because he had mind control of Superman in the previous era.  The plot thickens!


Looks ecstatic, doesn’t he?  Clark has kept secrets all his life.  He does so for a REASON!  He know the consequences of those secrets being exposed.  Diana never has asked him why he would rather their pairing remained out of the world view.  In fact, this couple don’t talk about much when it comes to the difficult or deeper subjects.  It’s just a snog buddy thang, don’t y’know.  But the world will never see it as that.

Wonder Woman walked around in her armor when she dated Steve Trevor.  She doesn’t understand living a double life for everyone’s protection.   Speaking of Steve.


While Hal and Barry discuss dibs . . . again.  Yea, Hal is really smooth, Diana.  Steve had the best view of all.   A true hero in every sense of the word.  He knows Diana intimately – especially after being dumped by her on TZM twice – and also fired by her.  If you’re not reading Forever Evil: ARGUS by Sterling Gates then you’re missing a good read and seeing Diana through Steve’s eyes.   Much better character there.  With the way Wonder Woman is being written in this triangle farce, she will be the one to probably go nuts.  I worry for Lois.  Who by the way is in a coma but with psionic powers.  This is how she found out about this?  Well, not exactly.  In Superman 26, she heard Clark Kent, who she knows to be Superman, call Wonder Woman, Diana and then realized she was her guest at her housewarming in Superman 19.  But Lois is living a special hell at the moment.  She can see and hear everyone’s mind – just think about the torture of that worldwide screaming at her incessantly.  Way to go DCE.  Kicking Lois Lane again.  Hope your proud of yourselves, cause we aren’t.

So does Clark go to Lois to make sure she’s okay.  Of course not.  He’s a coward and afraid Lois will expose his secret of being Superman.  Or is this after the Parasite stuff?  My point is, he gives a slide to Wonder Woman to tell the entire Justice League their secret so he can get Christmas nookie?  But Lois knowing his secret, his best friend, he’s worried about.  And now that the secret is out – he gets told to consider being Superman all the time by his goddess girlfriend.

So Aaron shows Clark his instant learning device.  Yea, sure.  Like it’s not gonna suck out people’s memories and mind control them.  His last name is Lord.


So Aaron changes the subject abruptly so Clark can’t finish the word, help.  Clark, you’re dealing with a goddess now.  The God of War precisely.  That might mean a little bit on controlling things.  See why this is so damaging to Diana?

So while Cat refuses to tell Clark how she got the scoop, we go to Lex in prison, who learns the news from a guard who thinks the power twins have done it.   Lex spouts his usual anti-super rhetoric and leaves us with this.   Hmmmm


Is he talking about contingencies?  Or did he think Superman’s relationship with Lois would prevent it from happening?  Lex knows how power corrupts.  And he’s a big deal in Forever Evil.   But this timeline is before the JL knew the JLA existed.  Hey Lex, when the fauxmance is over, then you’ll probably get out of jail and you’ll get to be in more stories.  Just saying.

God bless Batman.  He knows the consequences of this news getting out.  Can you say the integrity of the Justice League and every member of it and its mission?   Diana doesn’t understand that, even though she fired Trevor without authority.   To say Bats isn’t pleased would be an understatement.




Now the knowledge of this relationship is even outside Batman’s control.  Diana has already gotten rid of the guy Batman called ‘the Justice League’ and now her dating Superman is outed worldwide.   Not to mention, but I will.  She was all gun-ho to be pro-active and kill a terrorist leader without Batman’s or the Justice League’s knowledge.

So back to London where Diana has decided to visit her friend, Hessia, an Amazon.  Remember this supposedly happened just before Christmas (December) when Hessia and Diana went to Harrods to go shopping.  All bundled up for winter.   Now Diana shows up at Hessia’s martial arts class in short-shorts and no coat.  WTF?


When Clark left, Diana had just put on her armor for some reason.  So did she take care of the Demon Horde in the meantime?  Which could be in the DC vs Masters of the Universe book today.  Probably not.  Even in Gotham people are in shirt sleeves.  So did they time travel to spring or something?  Is it still Christmas time?   Can we at least get a realistic timeline here?

So why is Diana wearing inappropriate-for-the-weather casual clothes?  To disguise her Diana Prince identity?  I don’t think so.  It’s to hide the fact that Hessia is an Amazon.  So she’s supporting Hessia’s secret but thinks Clark shouldn’t have any.  Did you get the number on that bus?

So we got a Wondy leg shot instead of a Supes butt shot?

Hessia puts Diana on the spot and makes her say something memorable to the class of young girls.  Her snarl and look of absolute annoyance doesn’t help her characterization either.


Here we have Diana being the Wonder Woman of old, but unfortunately, she does it in front of her Amazonian friend – was she trying to impress her?  If you will recall, Diana was trying to get Clark to be Superman all the time earlier.  Has your head exploded yet?  Talk about mixed messages.

To blow off some steam, Diana and Hessia battle while conversing about Wondy’s relationship with Superman.  Yes, I am rolling my eyes.  And apparently there is a WW villain in this panel.



Maybe you should listen to your boyfriend and see things from his perspective since he seems to have more knowledge of how the human world works?  How about that?  To busy battling?  To busy snogging?  Like it didn’t get out of control when you broke up with Steve twice?  So what did you do to ignore it all — snog Superman on the Lincoln Memorial?  Thank God there’s no one like you two.  Sheesh!

So Diana decides to go to Themyscira and Hessia refuses to accompany her.  Diana thanks her for everything because she doesn’t have that many friends.  Well, that is a short list.  There’s not that many people like you, right?   I hate this characterization of Diana.  It’s so elitist and prejudice.  DCE should be ashamed.

Meanwhile back at the celebration.  Clark finally gets some information.





There was a Lois Lane mention but it was a dig at Clark.  Yea, we know you’re pretty simple, Cat.  Apparently Cat is to remain insipid and vulnerable to a guy with the last name of Lord.  But at least we got Journalism Clark back.  And it appears from the big celebration that Cat will be rolling in dough so Clark can go back to the Daily Planet without leaving her destitute.

Clark, go check the envelope for finger prints!  Clues!  Use your powers for good not just trying to get into the magic va-ja-ja.  Two words, Clark, my dear Kryptonian.  Erectile dysfunction.  Hey, if Lois’ uterus would explode from super lovin, then Clark would go limp with the goddess cunny.  Just sayin.  Fair is fair.  I know guys shudder at the limp issue, but hey – women hate the exploding uterus analogy.  So suck it.

Back to the main story.  Now before I show you how Zod completely plays Superman in his own ‘home.’  Yes, I’m hanging my head.  Here is Wonder Woman’s narrative while Superman meets up with Zod.  It could enlighten us on what mindset DCE has chosen for her regarding this relationship.  Warning, Will Robinson!










WTF?  There’s no changing the world?  Really?  You’re superheroes.  Some change has to come with all you do.  Ever hear of the ripple effect?  Butterfly effect?  Peeps who can alter realities?  Hello!   So now Superman is a distraction.  Is she going to go the way of the Bat Family with endless duty and no personal life?  That would suck.  Personally I would want more for the new 52 Wonder Woman.

The fight never ends.  A declarative statement.  Enemies move against them and there’s no changing it.  Really?  All there is to the world is endless fighting?  Surely she got a taste of a fuller life when she was dating Trevor, right?

So she knows they will separate.  But only for a time.  Since she’s a demi-goddess that could be centuries for all we know.  She thinks that is what Superman wants even though he won’t ask.  Why can’t these two just talk to each other?  Apparently they aren’t asking the difficult questions.  Are they trying to change themselves to what they perceive the other wants?  That’s doomed behavior for any relationship.

And despite her declaration that there is endless fighting, when the battle is over . . .   Huh?  Is Superman’s story no longer the neverending battle?  That means ongoing forever.  And besides, why does she think Clark is immortal?  He may not be.  And he can die.   Doomsday has already attacked Diana.  And Superman will be questioning Zod about Doomsday.  Hello!  Death!  End of existence!  No time left!

AND ANOTHER THING . . . .That whole Diana waiting for Clark at the end of time because all of his loved ones (she apparently doesn’t have any of those) will be dead.  Yea, this is that whole waiting for Lois to die so she can step in and claim him.  Which is just some male’s wet dream *cough* Kingdom Come *cough*  Which by the way, Mark Waid said was by no means to be a template for Superman or Wonder Woman stories.  Apparently new 52 Diana is not aware of Morrison’s DC One Million where a Superman in the distant future regains his wife, Lois Lane through the preservation of her DNA.  Hello!

Why are they doing this to Wonder Woman?

So Wonder Woman is going to put her life on hold until she can have Superman.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  This is what DCE has done to a female and feminist icon.  And by doing so, has also derailed the first female icon of DC Comics, Lois Lane.  This is the mindset this reboot has given Wonder Woman.  Beware what happens next in this series.   It can only get worse for her.  There is no freaking way they can make this nice-nice and make Wonder Woman the icon she once was to generations of readers, over seven decades.  Congratulations, gentlemen.  I use that term very loosely.   Well done in putting women in the place you want them to be.  Tits & ass & legs.  No heart or brains or scruples.  Can’t be the heroine of her own story.  She must be adhered to Superman to have any credibility.  Who raised you?

Zod is allowed to have heart and brains, not exactly scruples, but then he’s a villain and male.  He’s walking around the Fortress of Solitude like a boss.  But, of course.  Superman doesn’t have his head on straight yet.  He’s all involved with his wonderpoontang.   Really, that’s how you want new 52 Superman to be remembered?  Oh yea, I forgot.  Hormones and physical strength with powers make the ‘perfect’ relationship, and ergo, the quintessential superheroes.   Bats, can I get some help here?

Our evil Kryptonian finds the Phantom Zone Portal and evidence that ‘the child’ has some strict security on it.  So instead of using brute force, Zod will resort to other means.  He thinks Kal-El is a half wit anyway.  He’ll flatter and cajole him out of the key code.

Superman arrives to find Zod in his cell.  He admits that he learned Kryptonian from a machine.  So Clark can clearly understand everything Zod says aloud, so why doesn’t he pay attention?  Zod compliments him on his choice of ‘woman’.  Just like Kal-El’s mother.  Superman deflects the flattery and wants to know about Doomsday.

Remember in Batman/Superman 3.1 written by Greg Pak, Zod LOVED that monster because he would kill everything out of existence.  Clark describes Doomsday to Zod, who says that the monster was in his charge.  He lies and says he VOLUNTEERED to be in the Phantom Zone to make sure the creature didn’t escape.  Yea, right.  Clark, are you hearing this?

Superman tells him the monster has been seen.  Zod asks if he has a Phantom Zone Lens (which he already knows is there).  He screams Clark must open it immediately.  Then finds out Clark has it coded to Superman.  Zod flatters Clark with being like his father.  Superman says that flattery won’t get him out of his cell.  And then Zod opens the cell with the default code.  Literally DEFAULT.  Said in Kryptonian so Clark can hear it.  And yet, the caped guy wants to know how Zod did it.  Turns out Superman’s cells are actually shipping containers.  So Clark doesn’t know everything about his heritage planet.

Zod says DEFAULT again and all the ‘cells’ are opened to let out the menagerie.   I guess Baka is in the underworld with Superman, before this?  Yea, Action is pre-TW.  This timeline is probably kept vague so no one can truly know what’s happening as we steam roll to the end of Forever Evil.

So the fight ensues as Zod does what any man would do. (title of this issue)  He’s trying to get Faora out of the PZ.  Because he’s passionately in love with her.  He needs her by his side.  He tells her in Kryptonian to Fight!  Fight through!  So while Clark is out of frame, Faora breaks through, bruised and battered as Zod loving says her name in Kryptonian.

If you compare and contrast the two relationships, you can see the vast difference.  Wonder Woman is all about longevity, not love.  Clark is just trying to understand how Kryptonian tech works and how his life as Clark Kent has been threatened.

The other element is how a power couple can go wrong.  How having that much power can corrupt without the best view of the world.  Like Batman said in the last issue, if you’re together, you’re together.  In the eyes of the world they are.  If one does something horrendous, the other will suffer for it.  Guilt by association.  We’ll see how that pans out.

Despite Diana’s wondering what would be so bad about being Superman all the time, Clark still insists on holding onto his everyday life.  He was raised human.  He knows he can’t be human, but he still wants everything a human life affords.  He likes a challenge.  Being Clark Kent is a challenge.  He has to do things on the same playing field as humans.  Writing news articles.  He can excel at all physical things, but it is the other parts of being alive on Earth he wants to explore and be good at.  He’s a farm boy and lived with all kinds of living things.   He respects other beings and creatures because of that upbringing.  He knows there is always a way to avoid fighting or a battle.  He gives second chances.  His first instinct is not to fight.   This is what will separate the two in this relationship.  They have very different views of the world.  They have different moral cores.  Not opposing, but different.

Even if Diana continues her life in endless fighting, that would never be enough for Clark.  He wants to enjoy his life and he can because of his incredible powers.  He can be anywhere in a split second.  Take care of things faster than anyone.  But he also needs to rest.  Just like any other being.  He needs the psychological and emotional stability of not fighting all the time.  It’s not who he is.  Clark works from his heart first.  And in the new 52, he has been denied that.  He’s only been allowed fear, guilt and loneliness.  He’s been mind whammied, living in multiple timelines, in different realities and attacked by emotional and psychological beings.   Now, finally, in Greg Pak’s book, we see DCE bringing back Clark Kent and his life with his adoptive parents.  His childhood.  How he dealt with getting his powers.  The sage advice and example of  Jonathan and Martha Kent.

Like it or not, one way to show how Clark becomes a better superhero and man is by having him with the wrong love interests initially.  In the new 52, Diana only appreciates the Superman side.  Lana only is truly comfortable with the farmboy Clark.   It is only Lois Lane who sees and loves the true being no matter what clothes he wears.   When Lois is in his life on a consistent basis, then we’ll see the real Superman emerge.  She will test him on so many levels.   Lois is a challenge and was created to be so.  And Clark is all about that challenge.  They have two separate lives, but major roles to play within the mythology.

Lois Lane may not be appearing in the first six issues of this book despite what was said earlier by the artist.  It’s possible editorial won’t allow Soule to use her yet as they won’t allow Pak to utilize the reporter in Action.  Yea, the book that birthed her.  But at least Lois got a mention in this issue.   It bothers me that sexist Scott Lobdell seems to be the only one permitted to use Lois in the Superman book.  *shudder*

Poor Diana.  I thought with Steve Trevor in the new 52 and in so many books, that she could truly have her original and own mythology back.  Forever Evil: ARGUS has shown me a glimmer of the true Diana through Steve Trevor’s eyes.  Yea, he probably went a little nuts when she dumped him . . . twice.  We did see evidence of that in Justice League.  But when your heart’s desire pulls away for unfathomable reasons, it can make you do one of two things.  Be depressed and angsty OR be the man or woman you were meant to be.  Steve is a true hero.  He’s motivated by his love of Diana and protecting her.  He is determined to find Diana and the rest of the Justice League.  I would LOVE to see more of that relationship rather than this fauxmance which destroys and tarnishes true icons and heroes.

What DCE continues to do to Wonder Woman in the new 52 main continuity and what they have done to Superman is a disgrace, a travesty, and not the best business decision ever.

I’m going to talk someone off a ledge now.  Seems when the fauxmance book comes out all it does is spread destruction and depression.

We need our heroes back!


January 16, 2014. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Baudy's Reviews, BaudyBlahBlahBlah, Lois Lane, Superman.


  1. Andrea replied:

    Please never stop writing, your thoughts are exactly the same as mine and i just love each one of your posts they aRE GOLD.
    (I can’t wait until the fauxmance is done, I’m siiiick of being so annoyed half the time.)

    • baudyhallee replied:

      Ahhh thanks, Andrea. Sometimes I have to get this all out. Try to make sense of it.

      I’m sick of the fauxmance, too as you can tell. It does nothing for the characters.

      But maybe that’s what DCE is all about now. Destroying heroes so people won’t have hope. Our current economic situation is very similar to what it was in 1938 – yet DC gave those people a hero to give them hope that things could get better. Now, not so much. It’s a very sad commentary on the powers that be.

  2. Nina replied:

    Thanks for volunteering to reading and reviewing this so that the rest of us don’t have to suffer that shit.
    Tell me when the fauxmance is over and Clark, Diana and Lois are back to their old selves so that I can start buying comics again.

    • baudyhallee replied:

      Thanks for commenting, Nina.

      Will do. I don’t know why DC hasn’t wanted my money for over two plus years in the Superman books.

      I really need my heroes back. Don’t like these lesser versions.

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